Three Helpful Excuses to Push Off Passover Cleaning

Shhh, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but neither do I. Let’s just make this quick so we can get back to whatever we were doing beforehand. Listed below are three extremely helpful and effective excuses that can be said to family members or to your own brain when it comes to cleaning for Passover.

1. “I’m so tired”: The most popular phrase used by both husband and wife. This phrase is used mainly at nighttime when either spouse gets randomly stressed out and concerned. Nighttime is when the feeling for cleaning hits. Using this phrase will stir some annoyance and disappointment in your spouse, so be cautious. It comes without saying that there will be times when you are tired, that’s fine. But this phrase can only be used up to five times. After that, the phrase loses its effectiveness and starts to wear off. So be careful and smart when and how this phrase is used.

2. “We have so much time”: We both know this isn’t true, there is no such thing as so much time. You don’t have so much time, I know you don’t want to hear that. So, let’s just pretend. Before you know it, it will be Pesach and you’ll wonder where all the time went. Be extra vigilant when using this phrase. If this phrase is used too often, you may not have too much time left, if you get what I’m saying. This excuse expires once Purim rolls around, so use up the time before you don’t have any. Once Purim is here, you do not have time and the cleaning must ensue.

3. “Let’s start tomorrow”: We all know this is a complete lie, we just say it to make ourselves feel better so that we can fall asleep at night. Whenever this phrase is said, you almost never start tomorrow. It’s illegal actually. This phrase has to be said at least three times before you actually start tomorrow. It’s a Passover custom that must be followed by all Jews or else you’ll have a nightmare on the second night of Pesach. Don’t laugh, I didn’t make this up. This phrase is usually said due to some laziness in the family. The family member saying this phrase knows that they will not start tomorrow. It is just a distraction method. Hopefully, the one who was on the receiving end of this phrase will actually forget tomorrow and nothing will be done until the last two weeks before Passover.

If you do end up getting screamed at for using any of these three phrases, a gift may help. Ranging anywhere from a doughnut, some flowers, a diamond ring, or a Passover program. Instead, ensure that these phrases never ever come out of your mouth. You are not so tired, you do not have so much time, and you will not start tomorrow.  Instead, you are full of energy, you don’t have so much time, and you will start tomorrow!